Greetings,
We are flowing with value today. Which for all three of us has presented quite a lot of challenges. Some, being revealed as life stories.
In this one you are in for some deep personal stories. Of growing up with obligations or requests to demonstrate our value. Wondering what those might bring into your awareness.
Measured value, whether openly stated or masqued and hidden is deeply rooted in how we relate to ourselves and the world, we find.
How do you relate to value? As assigned to self, life, other humans?
These conversations are open explorations, that become richer with time and participation of others. We’d be thrilled to have you participate, if there was something that touched you. Ba commenting here, or sending us a message.
In flow,
Irina, Polina and Yulia
Irina
"I came into this world to fulfill the ideals and dreams of my parents. I was good from moment zero of my life. And so this equation was created: we love you because you're good."
"Value always involves evaluation. There's a part that is being evaluated and a part that is creating this evaluation. So am I worthy enough to create this beauty, this expansion?"
"Maybe there's no such thing as inherent value. Because for value to exist, there should be another one to create this value. Even self-love — there should be two of me: the one who gives value and the one who has value."
Yulia
“I’ve had quite a few experiences where what I thought was valuable was clearly not seen as such by other people. That mismatch made me wonder—what is valuable, what makes it valuable, and to whom?”
“Lately, I realized that I’ve become quite scared and apprehensive about the word valuable. I think it’s the word that I’ve been operating by in many interactions, especially in a business context, and it’s really hard to find a place where this value is actually shared.”
“In nature, I don’t need to demonstrate anything to anyone. Whatever value is, no one cares—and that feels like radical acceptance.”
Polina
"The word value originally meant to be strong, to be well, to be worthy. It wasn't about how much something was worth — it was about being alive."
"I experienced not being good from the very get-go. So I learned that being good was a game — a way to get access to more safety and predictability. But that original sense of 'just let me be me' was there the entire time."
"When children are simply noticed instead of evaluated, they don't stop seeking connection — they just find it through presence instead of approval."
Let it flow,
Polina, Irina, and Yulya
📍Chapters
00:00 – Welcome to Life in Flow
2:52 – Valere: value as strength + aliveness (not performance, achievement, or proving).
16:07 – Worthiness in the body: tightness, anxiety, and bracing for judgment.
19:50 – When value collapses: freeze response, numbness, and “nothing matters” energy.
21:10 – Beauty, femininity, and worthiness: expansion vs the mind’s “it’s unsafe.”
23:04 – The body’s deeper question: “Am I beautiful enough to expand into the world?”
31:52 – When value becomes a system: conditioning, hierarchy, and who gets to feel chosen.
36:52 – Childhood conditioning: how being “good” becomes the currency of love.
37:54 – People-pleasing decoded: earning approval instead of living from truth.
44:01 – Rebellion vs perfectionism: different strategies, same wound—“I must earn love.”
52:45 – External validation vs authenticity—and the paradox of becoming “invaluable.”
53:07 – The fake scoreboard: the moment you see external value isn’t real (but still runs us).
54:00 – “Invaluable” as a spiritual paradox: beyond measurement, status, and comparison.
55:20 – Cracking the Shell: releasing the identity built to prove your worth.
59:33 – A kindergarten bans “good”: what changes when praise is removed from identity.
1:21:43 – Healing value: what if we stop measuring ourselves completely and just be?
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💌 Resources used under Creative Commons license:
Music “Echolocation” by airtone, source: CcMixter
